Use a simple T chart (click to download) to consider what a win for you would be and what a win for the other party might be – but don’t make assumptions – take time to really find out: seek first to understand what their interests might be. This is often achieved by listening deeply. A bonus by-product of listening deeply to really understand is that you will develop a deeper relationship which is likely to increase trust, respect and credibility.
Then, balance courage and consideration to develop agreements of mutual benefit. (Habits 4, 5 and 6 from the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey).
Sometimes, in order to express our thoughts and feelings with respect, we need to take time to identify them for ourselves and develop our vocabulary to be able to effectively articulate them (see self-awareness).
